He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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