when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize