I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
