What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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