If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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