im about as happy as oj after his trial
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
