I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
