Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
