so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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