No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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