He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
