Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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