i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
