I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
