I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
