I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
too bad you live with your parents still
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
