what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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