i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
