I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
