worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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