My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
