My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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