It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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