somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
