mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
