They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
