Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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