Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
