I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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