Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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