if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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