But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
