oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
