After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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