We need to rekindle our bromance
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
