Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
