Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is the high leading the old right now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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