I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
