4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
