We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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