I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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