why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
