woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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