i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You made out with two different species that night
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
