Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
