But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize