is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
