this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This is classic penis vs brain.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
