What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
