Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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