Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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