She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
