smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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