Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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